God is in the small things

I had a "God is awesome moment" this morning, that I have to share.

There has been a lady I see walking her daughter to school every morning. As it got colder my heart broke for her. I wanted to offer her a ride so bad, but was afraid bc, well I didn't want her to think I was a crazy stalker or anything. Some mornings she's walk by as I was just getting home. Well this morning, the morning it was below zero chills, we were running a few minutes late from bundling up and wouldn't you know we were loading up and there they came down the street. Actually, I had already been in the can and got back out to scraps the windshield. So today I broke out of my comfort zone and asked her if she wanted a ride. :) I found out she's new to the neighborhood and her daughter is a grade above Ruth. Lord Bless this woman as she has a lot on her plate, like we all do. She is only 38, but it's on medical retirement after almost dieing from a botched c-section. Well anyway, she said she's been talking to another lady at the school that is a pastor's wife. This lady told her she needed to talk to me bc I was nice... that kind of have me goosebumps bc I really have no idea who she is or anything. It's just amazing, even though it shouldn't, how much God does that we don't see. He really works so much behind the scene that we don't see. And He works to keep his people connected. I'm really looking forward to seeing where God goes with this, as this new friendship blossoms.

The joy of being broke

So...as everyone is posting things about being thankful for things I find myself feeling down. Yeah, I'm super blessed. I have a roof over my head. Food on my belly and food in my kitchen...and a leaky sink in my kitchen. Yup, that's right a leaky sink. First the left side of the sink leaked at the drain. We were able to fix that. Also we've been dealing with a leak at the faucet. We've replaced the handles and that made it very awkward to use and now impossible top turn off completely. In an effort to conserve water we catch it and store it in various pitchers. Slowly the sprayer speed working too. We tried replacing the sprayer and that did nothing. As if that wasn't enough the drain on the right side started leaking. So a large bucket now sits under the sink and the things that were stored there are in my floor where I trip over them daily... much of this trouble has come from shotty work by city contractors a few years ago that did not put the sink in properly :/ we really need to higher a plumper to come fix this mess, but who has money for that? Not us, not now. Whoever said money doesn't solve problems, clearly didn't have the same kind of problems I do. Ha!

My story

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, so here is my story... My husband and I wanted children so bad, we had put off trying just to get ourselves a little more established. We were so afraid we wouldn't be able to have children because we both have health issues that made things questionable. After over a year of trying my family doctor decided to run some tests, also a full workup for my 25th birthday. Long story short, I found out I was diabetic. I immediately started metformin. With in 3 months i was pregnant, only I didn't know it. I had a period, so I thought it was yet another month of disappointment. We were working on our house so as soon as my period stopped I refinished our dining room floor. I started be extremely sore and crampy. I thought I really over exerted myself. I loaded up on ibuprofen for pain. About 2 weeks later I spot and bleed again. I didn't think anything of it bc I have a history of really bad unpredictable periods, so I just thought I was dealing with all that again. One time when I wiped there was this little white blob that came out and I thought ok that's really weird. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled in the next few days so I mentioned this extra bleeding to him and he asked if I was pregnant? I said i don't think so bc I had my period, but it was possible. So he ordered hcg tests. First one to see if it was in my blood and how much. The next day I got a call saying it was positive and to go have another one to see if the numbers went up or if went down. My doctor called me himself to tell me that the numbers went down, that I had miscarried. I was devastated but also ecstatic. We could conceive! "Things" worked! During the long period of trying I had several lengthy prayer sessions asking for God to give me something, anything. I am a Christian and I believe God talks to us if we'd only listen. Well, He told me I would conceive a girl first. I took this to mean I'd have a girl first...but after the miscarriage i realized that's not what He meant. He was preparing me for the early loss, letting me know the baby was a girl. We called her Hope bc she gave us hope that we would have other children! Immediately, guilt set in...had I known I was pregnant i would not have refinished the floor and exposed myself to all those chemicals or took so much ibuprofen. I'll never know if she would have lived if I'd done things different. And the guilt of throwing her body away still eats at me bc I just didn't know then. Sorry this was so long, but that is the story of my Hope.

So cute

This picture of Wisdom is just too cute not to blog. Fall mornings are here! Sweaters and hats :)

Wisdom's first dentist appointment

Since I blogged about Ruth's first dentist appointment I'll blog about Wisdom's! She did ok, good for a 20 month old I guess, ha! She let the dentist get a couple swipes with the brush, and then with the fluoride, but that was about it. He blew up balloons for the girls with the air thing and showed Wisdom the water squirter and sucker on her arm. It was really about her having the experience so hopefully in 6 months she'll let him do a full exam.

TP OCD

I can't tell you how many times I have to turn the tp roll over, lol! I'm a over girl. Oh and the springy thing too!

Yes, I'm that ocd.
One side of our tp holder is slightly higher than the other. If you put the springy thing in with the skinny end towards the higher piece the tp sits more level.

Yes, I know I have a problem...

On a happy note my 5 year old actually replaces the roll so I don't ever let her know I'm fixing it for fear that she'll stop. I don't know what mystical power I have that has made her actually replace the roll? I hear this is a problem? She's actually pretty independent, I just have her the chore of sweeping the steps today! She didn't do so well, but it's a start.

So are you an over or under person?

Dance Mom

I'm officially a dance mom, whatever that means, lol! No, I've never even seen the show. My daughter is in dance and she loves it! She will be staying her second season and class next week. I'm so excited for her :) it looks like she does really well too. I'm no expert by any means. I had the chance to chat with the owner of the studio and she knew my daughter by name and said she's watching her for their competition team in a few years! My heart swelled with pride. She said she had that special something and commands attention. I'm think yeah no kidding...miss drama queen...but I digress. My baby at 4 caught the attention of a seasoned dancer and runs a studio! Again heart swelling with pride. Dance is something she loves so well see where she goes with it. I want to be the parent that encourages and pushes her to do her best and try things, but not pressure her to the point it's not fun. We go to an amazing studio whose main goal is to teach the kids, but also too let it be lift hearted and fun. I love it :) so again because I take way too many pictures here are some pictures from her Christmas and spring recitals!

First day of kindergarten

It's so hard to believe I have a school aged child now. My oldest started kindergarten! As usual I took a ton of pictures to document. After all she only has one first day of kindergarten :) we parked a block over(less traffic) and walked around the school building to get pictures of her with the school signs. We happened to run into her teacher and she stopped and posed for a picture. This lady is amazing! I think it's going to be a great school year. I only cried a little. We ate breakfast with her and then took her to the gym. And then she was off to her classroom!

Wisdom's First Birthday

So it's hard to believe but Wisdom is already 19 months, but here is a lol back at her First Birthday party. It was turtle themed with the colors pink and green. I made her a special pillow case dress, most of the decorations, and the cupcakes :) it was so nice to be able to actually walk at her party, unlike at Ruth's where I was confined to a wheel chair!