CSI and Johnny Depp

Last night's dreams did not disappoint...
The first one I remember was a sort of scene from CSI, a woman had been killed when the ceiling over her bed  flooded and collapsed on her face.  Creepy right, it turned out someone had weakened the ceiling at the head of the bed and set the pipes up to leak right there, so it was a murder.  Her young daughter was taken away by ambulance for shock, I remember commenting to the girls cousins about taking care of her little hands for the iv's and they said she preferred them in her elbow. The strange conversations we have in dreams.

This dream is a little freaky for me because I had a ceiling collapse on me from a leak, that's why I moved out of my parent's house.  Fortunately it fell on my leg, so I wasn't killed... but then maybe I was in a way?  A whole lot changed when I was  forced to move out.  I had to sort of grow up and quickly realized where I fell in my parent's priorities... (The ceiling was not fixed for years, after 3 months of keeping my living situation temporary I realized I wasn't going back home)

So the next dream there was a plane crash, and yes I remember seeing lots of blood and gore.  Part of the plane was a fire ball, and then part was just a mass tangle of bodies, some dead, some alive.  I remember one guys hand was cut off and he was like "psst, it's just a hand".  Another lady had to fight her way from the bottom of the pile and ended up flinging a dead man's body off her and someone was like "you just flung a body!"  and she said "I do what I have too" and applause broke out, craziness...  I guess I was on the plane?  I wasn't hurt at all, mind you I have never flown.  So all the survivors were moved into this big warehouse and while we were waiting for treatment and rescue, Johnny Depp came to entertain us, lol!  I remember him showing us some weird see through mask he used to film pirates to protect him face in battle scenes?...

Sorry, couldn't resist, lol!

Hey I warned you last post I've been having some crazy whacked out dreams...

Dreams

Ok, I've been having so pretty whacked out dreams, my husband suggested journaling them, so I'm going to blog them, haha!  Some of them are pretty disturbing...

Three nights ago I don't even remember what I dreamed , but I remember them being very bad and waking up exhausted and very disturbed.

Two nights ago I dreamed that the older lady w/ short hair for Glee, was yelling at everyone in this big room, and I remember being really confused.  And then I had two more dreams about leaving stuff I wanted at my parents' old house.  In the first one it was my art work, and then in the second one it was clothes for my dolls, my daughter, and me.  Both of these gave me a very unsettled feeling.

So last night I have a weird apocalyptic dream.  I don't know what was going on, but  I was w/ a group of people and we backed as much clothes and food as we could in 2 backpacks(for me and my husband to carry)  I remember vividly packing one change of clothes for my husband, myself, and my daughter, and then shoving sandwiches in on top, lol. Then we remembered we needed stuff for the baby on the way(I was pregnant in the dream) so I grabbed a baby blanket and two baby outfits and put them in a plastic bag.  Just before I woke up we were discussing raiding a hospital on the way out of town for all the supplies we would need for the birth, for my husband to do a c-section, because we knew that's how the baby needed to be born... Scary stuff...

Remembering 9/11/01

I know this is a little late, but better late that never right?  I'm a big dork about hearing people's 9/11 stories, I can't get enough, so here it mine:

I have just started college, I was sitting in my english and speech block, I took the two classes back to back with the same professor and students, it was nice.  Anyway, we had just finished the english half and were taking a short break before speech class started.  I remember on of the girls that tended to be a drama queen started freaking out saying her mom just called her and said an airplane had just crashed into the world trade center.  I wasn't really sure what to believe, I just remember thinking she was a flake and it had to be a mistake...
After speech class was over I rushed to the Baptist Student Union to see if I could find anything out.  As soon as I walked in my heart sank because the t.v. was in the main room on and people were sitting on the couch watching... this never happened.  The BSU was for personal interaction, not to sit and watch t.v. so I knew something bad had happened.  I walked behind the couch and started watching too.  I remember going numb, slowly dropping my backpack to the floor not wanting to take my eyes off the t.v. for a second. And just watched... my mind was blank...I didn't know what to think or do!?  I don't know how long I stood there? I was awhile, maybe an hour...just watching the news. After watching the loop twice through, I had had enough.  It was sinking in this was horrible and really happening.  I decided to go home.  I don't remember if I had any other classes that day or not? I probably did, but at that point they weren't important.  As I pulled in my drive way my cell rang, it was my boss telling me I didn't have to come into work that night because the mall was closing. That really freaked me out, I still wasn't sure what was going on, or how this all affected me.

I got out of my car and saw my neighbor working in her yard so I went to talk to her.  She had watched the news too and decided it was too much so she came out to work in her yard.  We talked briefly about what a horrible thing it was and I went into my house.  Really I couldn't wait to turn my t.v. on hoping maybe it was some cruel joke and it would be over.  But it wasn't, there it was the same footage over and over again, this time bigger on my t.v. that the tiny t.v. at the BSU.  I remember sitting on the ottoman to be closer to the t.v. just watching.  Eyes wide, body numb, not knowing what to think or do... here I was fresh out of high school in the "real" world and something terrible like this happens.

I don't remember how soon after I saw my boy friend at the time, but I remember him totally freaking out and talking crazy about packing a bag and running away... There was no way I was going to do that?  I had just started college, I wasn't going anywhere!?  We spent a lot of time visiting his parents all of the sudden too... One day we were at their house and his four year old son was with us.  We were watching new coverage and they showed a traffic light that was leaning over and dust was all around it.  He  pointed to the screen and said "daddy a traffic light!"  I almost cried, at his innocence, I wanted mine back, he had no idea what horrible things had just happened.  I was just barely an "adult", just 18, my brain was not read to process such evil, and I'm not sure it is even now, 10 years later...

Feel free to share your stories...

Girls Just DO NOT Want to have fun...

Since I'm on a roll with getting out painful memories I might as well throw this one out there too...
I think it's a well known fact among those who know me that I don't like the song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", but I think the only person that really knows why is my husband. Until now he is the only person I have told this too...

Scene: My Sophomore year of high school, in the hallway between classes.

 I was in my locker switching out books minding my own business when a guy came up behind me and starts dancing and singing "that song", and then went into a bump and grind motion bumping into me so hard that i fell into my locker.  The motion was strong enough that not only did I have trouble sitting the rest of the day, I could tell he had a boner... I feared he and his friends would try something me later.    I really had no idea what he was thinking.  This guy always had about 4 other guys with him all the time.  This same group harassed me relentlessly years earlier in 8th grade shop class!  I don't think they ever touched me then, but they "got close" many times and were rather suggestive. I really lived in fear for a long time after, always looking over my shoulder, never knowing if the situation would progress anymore.

In hindsight, I probably should have told someone, but I thought what would they do, really? He didn't really "hurt" me, I felt like I'd get laughed out or something or worse he and his buddies would have really done something. So I just kept my mouth shut about it.  Looking back that incident could have got him in some serous trouble, it totally fits the description of sexual assault.  Even now 12 years later I get physically ill when I hear that song...

I was waiting for the day that I'd have to see him again, and it finally happened.  One day on facebook, gotta love facebook...there's his name and picture in my suggested friends.... I almost threw up, seriously.  It took a couple days for me to be able to even look at his profile.  From the posts I could see it looked like he did some time in prison.  I'm not sure how to feel about that, I guess it's good he was punished for something?  Makes me wonder if he would have done anything more if he'd had the chance?  Thank God I never found out.  I could also tell he has a daughter that is the same age as my daughter.  Every now and then he still pops up as a suggested friend, along with his little cronies.  I have not friend-ed any of them and I don't think I ever will.