Storm clouds

I feel like my head has been stuck in a storm cloud for a few weeks now...  I just haven't been feeling well, I think it's just a culmination of different things.  Mostly stress related to not having money.  It really really really sucks to be broke.  Whoever said money doesn't solve problems, clearly didn't have problems that cost money, lol!  The lose of my job has really hit hard, it was nice to have enough to got out to eat friday night and put gas in the van and go out to eat with a friend every now and then.  I did finally get another job, and it helps, but I'm only making about half what I made before.  My husband just finished a 2 week lay off so things were really tight for that.  I just had to get a new credit card just for medical expenses for a root canal and crown.  I'm finished with the root canal part, but still have to get the crown done.  The whole process will cost  $1412, if we get it paid off in the promotional period where there is no interest.  Talk about stress....  And that's with really good dental insurance!!!  I'm super stressed about getting that first bill!  But it needed to be done, I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep and had to eat ibuprofen like candy.

So then on top of all that, I have been off birth control for about 15 months now and still no baby....  I try really hard not to think about it, but every month I seem to get my hopes up and it doesn't help that everyone we run into asks if we are going to have another one.  It just makes me depressed to think about it...There are like 6, 7, and 8 years between siblings in my family and my husbands.  We had talked about that and said we really don't want that, but at this point it's looking more and more like what is going to happen, if I'm able to get pregnant again.  I know there is no way we could ever afford fertility treatments of any kind, or even afford an adoption.  So who knows what the future holds...

Naughty pictures

Ok, so before you get too excited, they aren't really nude or nearly nude photos... 

I was getting ready for bed one night after I showered and my husbands yells for me, that I have to come see this.  We put wax paper over the window in the bathroom so we don't have to have curtains and because we just don't have money for that sticky frost film.  But anyway he tells me to look a the subjective picture the steam has made in the wax paper.  So take a look, see for you're self.  Here is a photo of the picture in the wax paper after one of my showers: 

Hehe, totally a cock and balls...tell me you see it!?  So then my husband tells me that this is hilarious because after his showers the wax paper has boobs on it.  I looked at him, like what???  So, finally after a couple of nights I'm able to look at the window and take a photo after he took a shower:

There they are... two boobs, complete with nipples!

That's soooo weird! 

Don't take it personally...

We don't think you can do a job you've already been doing, but don't take it personally...  This is essentially the message that was in an email I finally received after almost 2 months of silence.  I interviewed for a nanny position in the beginning of September and it went great, they seemed real excited and all go.  I get an email yesterday finally that after talking to their parents and other people that they want someone w/o kids to make sure their child  gets all the attention it needs.  Excuse my language, but wtf!?  Do they think just bc my kid is with me I'm going strap theirs in a chair or something?  Really? Please... This is so insulting!  Hello I took care of my daughter and another child for a year and a half just fine (both infants, talk about work) and that was FAR from what happened.  Well I say good luck to them... their loss.  They well be hard pressed to find someone as good as me, experience, knowledge, and know-how.

I'm just super irritated also, bc she said they've been flip flopping and mulling it over for awhile now, but never bothered to ASK ME about it!?  I'm the expert here, this it their first child. I don't know what kind of experience they have with kids, but obviously not much if they don't think I'm capable of  paying attention to more than one child at a time?  Maybe I bit the bullet here, if they are that stupid, I don't want to work for them, ha!

Oh well, jokes on them bc I already have another job with a family that has 3 kids, lol!  Most of the time I just have one bc the others are in school full time, but still.  They are very happy to have me and my daughter and were ecstatic at the news that I won't be leaving in February. :)